Not every movie is a hit and every director has that one or two film that doesn't click with audiences. Here are five that didn't do for me
As usual, a few dishonorable mentions:
Backdraft (1991) C-
The special effects are impressive but not worth sitting through this soap opera. Has that 90's movie feel of something that I would see at midnight on a local Spanish-speaking channel.
In the Heart of the Sea (2015) D
A tedious fish story that would have have worked better on television. With Howard working on the National Geographic channel with shows like Genius and Mars, a season would have allowed more time on character and plot development, than in a two hour movie.
Gung Ho (1986) C-
What could have made for a funny satire on culture clash is wasted for an awkward comedy and frustrating plot points, that not even Micheal Keaton is enough to save it. The movie could have benefited with Gedde Watanabe as the protagonist.
Edtv (1999) D+
Like Gung Ho, it could have made for a funny satire but results in another awkward comedy. It also had the bad timing of premiering the same year of the much superior The Truman Show, both with the similar premise of a man's life being broadcast on live television.
5). Far and Away (1992) D+
I can't deny that it has ambition; the land race is the only highlight thanks to the score by John Williams. Other than that, this is an overlong and melodramatic movie with story and characters that are minuscule compared to the enormous set pieces. It doesn't help when I can't take Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman serious with their silly Irish accents. Unless you want to see Cruise go nuts in the same manner of Nicholas Cage in that its so bad its entertaining, and don't mind the two and a half hour run-time, knock yourself out.
4). Angels and Demons (2009) D
The second in the Dan Brown Trilogy tones down the annoying christian-bashing but has the same dull and ludicrous premise that plague's this series. I know I'm not supposed to take it seriously but it's kind of hard when the movie begins to make make claims on science vs religion and pretends to be smart and bold about it. There is a time and place to talk about said subject but this isn't it. It doesn't help that when the twist happens and you put the pieces together, you realize that the hero is a sap in all this.
3). Inferno (2016) D-
It pains me when Ghostbusters 3, Tron 2, Hellboy 3, and John Carter 2 are cancelled but we get a third Dan Brown movie instead. Is the fanbase that big? Was there a demand for a third film? Seriously, where does Dan Brown get these ideas that nab him an audience? First the Last Supper, then Vatican city and now Dante's Inferno gets the fanatic treatment. Like Micheal Bay's Transformers it's the same story in every movie that you can predict the outcome. Our lead Robert Langdon is roped in some sinister plot that has drastic measures on the world, some type of art or literature is perversely utilized in this scheme along with a secret villain reveal. Whatever novelty it had left, it's gone here.
2) The Da Vinci Code (2006) F
50 Shades of Catholicism. Curse You Cinemasins for thinking of that line first. In any case, it perfectly describes the one that started this Dan Brown fad. Unless your're a conspiracy nut, the best way to enjoy this train wreck is if you view it as a comedy. The only catch is that it that the runtime is longer than Far & Away, at two hours and fifty-four minutes; basically three hours! If I want to see a treasure hunt involving puzzles and riddles found on historical artifacts that involves some revision in history but in all good fun, I'll stick with National Treasure starring Nicholas Cage and its underwhelming sequel.
1). The Dilemma (2011) F
Nothing is worse than an unfunny comedy, though the title lives up to its name. As bad as the Dan Brown movies were, the one thing it had was star power. True, Tom Hanks is wasted in the role of Robert Langdon but he gives it a 100% effort in a movie that doesn't deserve it. Take that away and your left with a movie that is beyond redeemable. The characters, story, humor, and just about everything about this movie is awful. Not once did I laugh. No one gives any effort. Not one character is likable and I'm just sitting there pondering what am I doing with my life. Any moment the movie has a chance to redeem itself it throws it away; the customary cameos from the Howard clan being the only entertaining part. The Dilemma is not so bad its good, it's just bad.
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