The Worst of 2017

Looking at back at my ticket stubs I watched about forty films in 2017, including the ones I waited til DVD. Maybe I can bump that number higher in 2018 but for now here are the best and worst films of 2017.
While I mercifully manged to miss stinkers like The Snowman, The Bye Bye Man, CHiPs, and Transformers The Last Knight there were a couple of baddies I unfortunately sat through. So let's get the worst out out of the way starting with.....

5). Rock Dog

Sparks and Leap were among the many declared bombs that I wasn't able to see. Not sure if that's good or bad. I could go the easy route and put The Emoji Movie on my list, don't get me wrong it is a bad movie but the best thing I can say about is that despite the poor execution there was never a dull moment. Rock Dog on the other hand was BBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! Halfway through the film I lost interest and got my phone for the rest of the run-time. When I'm willing to give The Emoji Movie my undivided attention, that is an epic fail. The Rock-a-Doodle of the year with good talent and animation wasted on a silly and stupid premise.

4) Alien: Covenant

If I had to say one good thing about Alien Covenant it would be Danny McBride. I would gladly follow him when he was onscreen than any of the other crew members in this fiasco of a film. Were you expecting answers after Prometheus left so many unresolved? Too bad because nothing and I mean nothing absolutely happens! This movie adds zilch to the Alien legacy and falls into the generic horror film troupe (more gross than scary, stupid and unlikable characters). And Ridley Scott asks why these movies aren't seen on the same level as Star Wars. On the bright side, we still have two good Alien films and with Disney purchasing Fox, plans of a sequel seem's unlikely.

3). The Space Between Us

Teen Romance Shylock. How wonderful. The plot is everything you've seen a hundred times: I love you, but we can't be together, I don't care, our love is stronger than the world itself. Boo hoo hoo hoo The End. The only difference is that there is no villain or disapproving parent who hates the the main lead, but instead are trying to save his life. But we can't have logic in this picture, the teens are the ones who think straight and the adults simply don't understand, the classic teen cliche. Give me a break! I hate picking on Asa Butterfield and Britt Robinson and I wish them the best on their next project, take it from Gary Oldman who manged to recover with Darkest Hour.

2). Fifty Shades Darker

Do I have to say it? Do I really have to say it?! The title alone speaks for itself. Leaving the theater never felt so good like a light at the end of a dark and spooky tunnel or better yet in a psychopath's basement. Morbid and boring, I slept for a couple of seconds and regret that I didn't for a little longer. It's the same as the first film and the new "additions" do nothing for the this so-called plot but make it worse. If that wasn't bad enough Fifty Shades Freed comes out this year. It hasn't been a year and another is arriving already? At least it's the last one and after that it'll be forgotten like yesterday's boyband and the Twilight franchise put together. 


1). Boo 2: A Madea Halloween 2

Here's a sickening thought, I laughed more in Fifty Shades than in this excuse of a comedy. I didn't sleep seconds but minutes, five or six at the very least! Congratulations, Madea not only do you give Big Momma's House a run for her money but you are worse than Fifty Shades Darker! Madea commits the crime of being unfunny, it doesn't know if wants to be a Horror/Comedy or some Hallmark Hooey. All the characters are enormously irritating and like Fifty Shades repeats everything from it's predecessor; a complete rehash, previous film not acknowledged, the characters learn nothing, and you wonder why was this was made in the first place! Can you blame me for taking a nap. Mr. Perry I'm sure you have talent, your reputation in Star Trek , Ninja Turtles 2, and Gone Girl proceed you, stick to anything but your own material.